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I thought at exposedarabs com looked comfortable, comforted. Was he smelling her?
Was it pleasurable for him, I wondered? I stood there in my baggy T-shirt and pleated shorts feeling like a fat monkey. An orangutan maybe.
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The woman looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair, then tipped her head back and leaned into her hands. He pulled himself into her. Her dark curls were wild and unkempt.
She was full of pleasure. I was hot and struck dumb, slick with sweat and burning for that feeling between my legs. Whatever I might have learned from camp about my cultural history paled in comparison to that image. If being Jewish meant my curly, brown hair could be beautiful in all its unkempt glory and a man would pull himself between my legs with deep affection and ease, I wanted in.
Was all of Israel this sexy? Or all Jews? Was this really my birthright? I had never felt so lucky in all my life. And then, after what felt like an interminable nude black girls feet showing of longing, it was time to go home, back through the cornfields to our sleepy suburb shaded by giant old elms and sugar maples. The sad memories of camp fell away like a shed skin.
We were different girls now.
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I had learned how to shave my legs and armpits nude our precocious cabin-mate Carrie; I had learned how to insert tampons with applicators made to smell like the petals of a mysterious flower; and I had just proved to women that I could spend a whole month on my own. I had been lonely and sometimes achingly sad, but I survived. And I had seen a possible future version of myself in those girls in the bathhouse, those Israelis on the lawn—comfortable in their bodies, sensuous, and right where they belonged. I would never have long, straight blonde hair, but I now believed I might be sexy in my own right, maybe in a few years.
Back home, my new attitude toward my body suddenly felt pic compared to my WASPy friends who had spent the summer riding horses at the hunt club. For several years after this summer, I felt as though I was feeling too much too genital massage video. My year-old classmates were no match for what I imagined I wanted.
I had seen this other world, this other way of being, and I wanted to be in it. I summer felt comfortable with my camp, happy with it even, for periods of time, and I have been less confident, even disgusted, at others. I am not free from comparing my flabby triceps and thick hips to the skinny girls in yoga class, and when I see someone return to their normal tiny jeans size within months after childbirth I am not free from envy. The older girls at camp did so with confidence.
And even more so, the Israeli dancers—striking, alluring, sexy—held themselves open to the elements, to each other, to the world around them. Pleasure, I learned on that auspicious afternoon, could be had if one were only willing to welcome it in.
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